So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
