I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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