He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The feeling are messing with the penis
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
