He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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