she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
