Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
