i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
