come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
