I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just high enough for therapy.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
