I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize