Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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