if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
