is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize