im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize