i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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