But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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