if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize