He kissed a someone with a penis
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
