he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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