And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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