She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
