dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Randomize
