It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
