and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
