My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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