Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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