So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's even glitter on my cock...
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