I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
