he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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