it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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