were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
