i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
