so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My Sexting was not on an AP level
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
