im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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