ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
