Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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