I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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