It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
