honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
