Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize