i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
