i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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