I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
