He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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