I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
