I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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