She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter