just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
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She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
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Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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