did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize