it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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