I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
