I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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