god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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