you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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