Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
