I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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